‘Go, it’s better for you. I can’t be selfish.’

By Z.

Have you been with someone or started to feel that something was happening with someone but then destiny, life, work, made you go MILES away?

What if you did not want/choose to leave but that was your only option. What if you wanted to stay and be with that someone but everything is working against that.

What can you do? You have maybe thought of heroism: like leaving everything behind and staying with that someone. You know though that there are a number of things to consider:

• First, this is NOT common sense (whatever that means). Mainly, I am trying to say that you probably cannot afford it (you would lose your job for instance).
• Second, if you choose, to do it, the person would probably take you for granted and treat you that way, which probably would frustrate you and worsen your relationship.

So you decide to go.

Now, what I want to say is that you probably thought of trying to stay, doing something to make the impossible possible, and that someone has probably ruminated over some similar ideas too. The ‘tragedy’ however, is that it won’t happen. Mind you, it’s no big deal.

That someone has probably said things like, ‘well you should go because it’s best for you’.

It is nice of them. It also means that you are probably not meant for each other.

So would you expect them to fight for you? Do you need to fight for them? Yes and if this does not happen MOVE ON.

Here I want to make things clear. Passion is not necessary to me.

There is an accepted wisdom that says that whatever comes out of passion will make things beautiful and successful: if you are passionate about your work or your relationship it guarantees success. My response is: bullshit (I like this word).

We should not be governed by a passion dictatorship! It is not a magic formula.

When people who are passionate do not ‘succeed’ they are told they were not passionate enough!

For me, what makes things happen is not passion but simple work. It is not because you are passionate that your work is better but rather it is because you work on it over and over again that it becomes better. It’s a very simple and old rule and I am not saying anything new.

If that relationship with someone was worth it, it would have continued not out of passion (necessarily) but most probably out of work.

When you hear that ‘go, it’s better for you’ to me this sounds like I am afraid/lazy to work it out.

Oh and the ‘I can’t be selfish’ just makes them maybe feel better. Ignore it or take it with a pinch of salt.

ANNNNND… don’t forget to do what YOU want to do. :)