‘Let’s stay friends.’

by Z.

Have you ever expressed some kind of care for someone and then was told, by that someone, that they want to be friends?

A reason for such request could be that things between you two are not going so well. Alternatively, you were maybe not on the same page (as in, you were expecting too much from whatever kind of 'relationship' you two were having) and your someone wanted to get things straight and annihilate your expectations.

What if you actually was not expecting them to ask you to be friends? You were maybe expecting them to fight a little before announcing ‘defeat’. Is it asking too much? Well, it might be asking too much from them. Fair enough.

It is clear that respecting the will of others is important but so is respecting your own feelings.

When your someone asked you to stay friends and it felt like a burn you should not feel guilty or ashamed of your reaction.  What is the point of feeling ashamed of your own feelings? Why feel guilty for being yourself?

You desired more and you didn’t get it. It happens. You thought you two were more and you were mistaking. Fine.

A common reaction is to play it cool, in order to hide your feelings, or reply with the dreaded line: ‘Sure. Let’s stay friends.’ Saying such a thing must have felt even worse than hearing it.

I think that it is a right and an obligation to ourselves to express our feelings of disappointment when we hear an unwelcome ‘let’s stay friends’. It is not necessary to grow the problem bigger and tell that someone that you do not want to be friends because it will just make them feel that you are pushing them against their will. Here, remember it is not about imposing!

What you could do is express your right without interfering with their will and that can be expressed as: No, I do not want to stay friends.

To express it you don’t need words because your actions can show it.

Your someone would eventually understand and if they don’t, you can explain, after your actions.

ANNNNND… don’t forget to do what YOU want to do. :)